Understanding the Mother Wound
To heal our mother wound, we must understand mother wounds and relationships. There are many ways it impacts our relationships. Our experience with our mothers is the first feminine role in our childhood. It sets the stage for our expectations and views of women, regardless of how we identify ourselves. Mother wounds can determine the women we seek out for friends. Or our romantic partners.
It can impact how we view and treat other women in our community. If we have seen the negative side of women in this world, we will either respond with that same treatment or just come to expect that from other women we come across. When, of course, we know we should be empowering other women. But for those of us with a mother wound, it may not come as easily for us.
Once you start healing the mother wound, make sure you focus on empowering yourself. I talked about how important this is in my episode on Empowering Other Women (And Yourself!).
Bonus Resources for Healing the Mother Wound
Prefer to listen? Find the podcast episode below for Healing the Mother Wound!
The Mother Wound and Romantic Relationships
With a mother wound, we might be accepting unhealthy, toxic, or abusive behaviors from others because we do not believe we deserve anything greater for ourselves. Or we haven’t seen more healthy behaviors to know they even exist.
Attachment Disorders from Mother Wounds
Part of this might be due to attachment disorders we have formed from our mother wounds. We will find ourselves seeking out validation in similar relationship patterns. Not necessarily because we like them. But because it is how we identify love or what feels the most comfortable for us. And not comfortable in an enjoyable sense – but in a familiar sense.
Anxious Attachment Style
For example, if you have an anxious attachment style, you might be needing more reassurance that you are good enough, pretty enough, or worthy of sticking around. Because you don’t believe it yourself. You might feel very dependent on your partner for having your needs met and incredibly anxious worrying about them leaving you or being upset with you.
Avoidant Attachment Style
Or you might be like me and have an avoidant attachment style. You might be social and easy to be around but are overly independent. You don’t like relying on others and prefer to meet your own needs. The avoidant part of the attachment is that this keeps you from letting people in too far or getting vulnerable with others. You keep them at a safe distance to try to prevent yourself from getting hurt.
The Mother Wound and Friendships
Even beyond romantic relationships, these relationship patterns and attachment styles can be found in friendships as well. I spoke about this in my episode on Friendship Breakups. Once I had realized that I was replaying these patterns in my romantic relationships, I spent so much time working to heal that. Only to discover I had also repeated these patterns in other relationships in my life – not just romantic ones. So this is my reminder to constantly review all of the relationships in your life – personal and professional.
Sometimes, your relationships with women can be strained. Maybe you were shown unhealthy dynamics between yourself and your mother, your mother and other women, or were hurt or abandoned. These are all negative associations with women that you can carry forward. We step into this world accepting and agreeing to what we walk into. And oftentimes we don’t question any of it for years.
As I mentioned, I’ve found myself being in unhealthy dynamics with other women many times before realizing what was happening and why. I was either ending up with people who were nurturing to a point where they needed to rescue me or fix me. Or I was intimidated or not trusting of other women. And not in a “pick me” girl kind of way – I’m sure that has its own deep-rooted causes. This was just an attempt at avoidance completely, not an attempt in trying to put other women down.
Continue The Mother Wound Series:
Click on any of the links below to continue or jump ahead. And don’t forget you can listen to the entire episode on the player above. Or through any podcast platform by searching for Root and Rise Podcast!
- What is The Mother Wound
- Types of Mother Wounds
- 11 Ways the Mother Wound Impacts Us
- The Mother Wound and Relationships
- Mother Wound and Generational Trauma
- Reparenting Yourself and Finding Your Inner Child
- Finding Forgiveness with a Mother Wound
- Resources for Healing the Mother Wound
- Journal Prompts for Healing the Mother Wound