How the Mother Wound Impacts Us
Just like we are all unique individuals with unique experiences, the ways how the mother wound impacts us are also unique. Below, I’m going to be listing a lot of the ways it has personally impacted me. And the most common ways that I’ve heard within the mother wound community. I always recommend therapy and exploring mother wounds deeper. Especially because you and your situation are unique in their own way.
Bonus Resources for Healing the Mother Wound
Prefer to listen? Find the podcast episode below for Healing the Mother Wound!
11 Ways That Mother Wounds Impact Our Lives
1. They can leave you feeling unworthy
Unworthy of taking up space, receiving attention, or success. Or even love and acceptance. Because we did not receive this at our foundation. Due to this, we do not have the self-confidence or security within ourselves to know we are worthy and deserving of these things.
2. Playing small
We might end up playing small in our lives. The reason for this is partially that we don’t feel worthy of taking up space, attention, or success. But also because we were not given a secure attachment growing up to show us that we can be fully accepted as ourselves. We were not given an environment where expressing ourselves, succeeding, or even failing felt safe or respected. Or even acknowledged in some cases.
If this is resonating with you, I have just the thing to help! Check out my episode and article on How to Stop Playing Small and Start Living Authentically.
3. Constantly feeling like you are not good enough or like there is something wrong with you
Like it’s your fault that people can’t stay or treat you right. Because you were never shown that from your foundational support system… The very person you should have been able to rely on the most for these feelings of acceptance, reliability, and security.
4. Putting other people’s needs before our own
And to a point that you are absolutely drained and maybe even feeling resentful. Since our needs were not met as a child, we end up people-pleasing. We might no longer realize we even have needs. And we might feel a sense of worth or value in self-sacrificing to this degree.
In working so hard to give others what we wished we could have had or what we were forced to provide to others at a young age.
This can show up as constantly feeling the need to “prove” ourselves or seeking validation through being perfect. Because we did not learn as a child that we were enough as we were. Or that mistakes were expected and welcomed as learning experiences. As a result of this, we might internalize these mistakes or any perceived flaw as a failure to be “enough”.
If you find yourself struggling with perfectionism like I do, be sure to head over to Overcoming Perfectionism. I hope to help you feel good enough because you truly are.
6. An inability to trust or open up to others
Or a lack of understanding for healthy boundaries in relationships. We were never given a safe space to trust or rely on our mothers. Or we were shown unhealthy boundaries and have continued to carry that forward in our lives.
7. An inability to trust ourselves
This can be seen in not being able to express ourselves or be who we are. Because we were not accepted and celebrated in the ways we needed to grow up, we don’t know how to accept or celebrate ourselves. As a result, we might not be able to trust yourself, your decisions, or your needs.
The part of my life in which I experienced the most anxiety was the part of my life where I was not trusting myself. I did not feel confident in making decisions, in trusting myself, or in knowing what I needed and giving it to myself. Because of this, anxiety flourished in my life during this time.
This is a very depressing situation to experience. And naturally, depression can be a symptom of a mother wound for that reason.
10. Substance abuse struggles
Coping with a mother wound is incredibly challenging. If we are not given the right tools or seeking them out for ourselves, we can find ourselves coping in unhealthy ways.
11. Other addictions
Like work, shopping, gaming, or gambling, For the same reason as substance abuse struggles, we can find ourselves struggling with other forms of addictions.
Continue The Mother Wound Series:
Click on any of the links below to continue or jump ahead. And don’t forget you can listen to the entire episode on the player above. Or through any podcast platform by searching for Root and Rise Podcast!
- What is The Mother Wound
- Types of Mother Wounds
- 11 Ways the Mother Wound Impacts Us
- The Mother Wound and Relationships
- Mother Wound and Generational Trauma
- Reparenting Yourself and Finding Your Inner Child
- Finding Forgiveness with a Mother Wound
- Resources for Healing the Mother Wound
- Journal Prompts for Healing the Mother Wound