How to Reparent Yourself
The most helpful skill that I have learned as a woman walking this world with a mother wound, is finding your inner child and reparenting yourself. Personally, it honestly started out a lot like sitting down, closing my eyes, and having a conversation with myself. Stating a worry, concern, emotion, or thought. And then picturing a child (or myself as a child) saying that. And then thinking about how I would respond.
So if this child came to me with anxiety. I would listen to the worries in the situation at hand. And I would take myself out of that role and think about how I would respond to someone else, a loved one, that child.
In the beginning, this was a lot harder for me. Honestly, it felt awkward and weird. If that’s how it is for you, I recommend doing a quick brain dump which you know I talk a lot about in my episodes. I would write out every thought for 5-10 minutes. And then I’d go back through them and address them as if a child (or myself as a child) had written them to me asking for guidance.
Bonus Resources for Reparenting Yourself and Finding Your Inner Child
Prefer to listen? Find the podcast episode below for Healing the Mother Wound!
Finding Your Inner Child
In the beginning, it was almost easier to picture some future child of mine talking to me. Over time, I began to picture myself much younger, almost down to the age. Which can tell you a lot about where the source of the pain, anxiety, trigger, etc is. This information can be incredibly helpful for your healing journey. I know that for me personally, this awareness was an absolute game-changer.
If you are a parent, consider how you would talk to your child if they came to you with these feelings, thoughts, or needs. And not the perfect mother image you may fantasize about having or being – perfect mothers do not exist. How would a healthy, secure, and imperfect mother approach this situation? And how would you nurture and care for them – as this realistic mother?
Then give that to yourself. Seriously, say those comforting and reassuring words that you needed to hear. Validate those feelings and remind yourself of the truth – that you are whole, you are worthy, you are good. Meet your needs, do some self-care, journal, go for a run, or take a nap.
In doing your part to actively end generational trauma, in reparenting yourself, and hopefully exploring all of this in therapy… you are turning generation trauma into generational healing. My aunt once told me that when you heal generational trauma you are healing your lineage or ancestors’ pain. You are healing your hurt mother, your hurt grandmother, and the healing continues on. But more immediately, you heal yourself. And you heal the future generations to come.
Continue The Mother Wound Series:
Click on any of the links below to continue or jump ahead. And don’t forget you can listen to the entire episode on the player above. Or through any podcast platform by searching for Root and Rise Podcast!
- What is The Mother Wound
- Types of Mother Wounds
- 11 Ways the Mother Wound Impacts Us
- The Mother Wound and Relationships
- Mother Wound and Generational Trauma
- Reparenting Yourself and Finding Your Inner Child
- Finding Forgiveness with a Mother Wound
- Resources for Healing the Mother Wound
- Journal Prompts for Healing the Mother Wound